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Fanfiction, Rated G
Fanfiction, Rated PG
Fanfiction, Rated PG-13
Peach Creek Award

Wizard of Ed
Chapter 1
Written by Beansie

"Have you ever wondered how a bird flies or an airplane soars? Now, for a limited time only, you can discover these transitory secrets for the minimum price of only twenty-five cents," Eddy advertised," each that is," he quickly added.

"Gee, I don't know? What do you think, buddy?" Jonny 2x4 placed the hunk of wood up to his ear," aha, yep, ok Plank. Plank wants to know if its safe.

"Uh...sure it is, Jonny. Act now and get a free party favor," Eddy concluded.

"Party favors! Gice it to me, Eddy!" Jonny ran forward and instantaneously dropped the two quarters in the jar, but didn't forget to take the party favors from Ed.

"Come again!"

" see here Jonny, these hand-cut cardboard wings have been carefully selected to fit your person. So if we...simply...buckle the...straps together...they should-"

"Outta the way, Sockhead," Eddy pushed Double D away," it buckles like..." Eddy pulled and tugged, but the straps wouldn't meet.

"Ah, and such a bounty would be placed upon Rolf," Rolf daydreamed as he sat in a huge pile of candied beets he was to polish and shine.

"Hey Rolf!" Rolf looked up at the voice.

"What do you think you are doing, spying on Rolf?" he interrigated.

"Shill amigo, I just thought-"

"Oh, it is just you, Kevin. What may the son of a shepherd do for you?" Rolf stood and bowed to him.

"Yeah. Anyway, I was just coming around and I thought you might like to play catch?" Kevin asked.

Rolf frowned.

"This is not allowed, Kevin, as the turnip must not be sown. Come back when Rolf is through with his errands," Rolf replied, returning to his chore.

"Right. Whatever." Kevin mumbled.

"There, they should work now. Nice goin,' Ed," Eddy complimented after they ducktaped the straps together. Ed himself had ducktape sticking all over himsef.

"Just call me a hamburger," Ed said, grinning from ear to ear.

Everyone gave him an odd look.

"Plank says he still has doubts about the the chances of this working," Jonny added.

"Hey Plank, my dad's adding a porch to the house, you wanna help?" Eddy snapped.

"Manners, Eddy!" Double D reminded.

"Fine," Eddy complained," Try them wings out now, Jonny-boy!" Jonny closed his eyes and slowly lifted himself off of the ground. He opened them again to see he was floating five feet or so above everyone else.

"Way cool! I'm doing it! I'm flying!" Jonny hollered.

"Bravo Jonny! Well done!" Double D cheered.

"You show 'em Jonny!" Eddy supported.

"Yup, yup sharoo!" Ed cried out.

"How long do you think he can stay up there?" Eddy whispered, but no sooner was this said than Jonny fell out of the sky with a great thud.


"Jonny! Are you alright!" Double D asked.

"Hmmm...Oh well, must have been all that hot air in his head," Eddy shrugged, but Double D looked thoughtful.

"Hot air...Eddy that's it!" He shook Eddy's hand and ran off.

"Huh?" Eddy asked confused.

"There he goes," Ed smiled cluelessly.

"Are they done yet, Sarah?" Jimmy asked eagerly.

"Almost, Jimmy," Sarah said. The buzzer on their play oven went off and she pulled out ten gingerbread men

"Mmm, I love gingerbread," Jimmy reached for one, but Sarah pushed him away.

"No Jimmy. Don't you remember what happened last time?" Sarah closed his bedroom door just as Jonny drifted by in a laundry basket with four helium-filled balloons tied to each side of it.

"Wow, check me out, Plank, I'm an austranaut!" Jonny turned to Plank who was drifting nearby in a similar contraption.

"Hey Kev. What's up?" Nazz walked up to Kevin who had been throwing his baseball up and down in a haughty manner. Hequickly spun round to face the blonde.

"Ok hi Nazz. Not much," he nervously answered.

"You wanna play ball?" Kevin asked.

"Sure!" Nazz exclaimed.

"Cool. So do you want to bat or throw?"

"Um...throwing fine with me."

"Ok, go to the mount then." Kevin grabbed his bat while Nazz ran out to the field. He threw her his baseball when she reached it.

"Ready?" she asked.

"You bet," Kevin gripped his bat.

Nazz threw the baseball and Kevin hit it. It soared over both of their heads and disappeared at the horizon.

"Awesome Kev!" Nazz applauded.

"Not too bad to say the least," Kevin gloated.

"Hey look, Plank, a baseball," Jonny eagerly pointed down at the soaring sphere. It flew skyward and popped one of his balloons. The laundry basket began to lose height as it descended to the ground, but Jonny fortunately jumped into Plank's laundry basket.

"I'm sorry, buddy. If I would have known that baseball was gonna make me fall, you think I'd be up here?"

"Hurry up, Marie!" Lee's voice ran through the trailer.

"I'm coming!" Marie hollered back. She walked into the kitchen to see Lee washing dished. She turned around.

"Hey Marie! What do you think you're doing in here! Take these clothes out to May!"

"Alright, alright," Marie picked up the laundry basket again and brought it outside.

"Put up those clothes," Marie ordered.

"I'd don't see why I have to do this," May complained.

"You're the youngest, stupid," Marie explained.

"Hey look up there!" May pointed upward.

"Its just the sky, May," Marie said.

A baseball was coming down at them and hit Marie in the head.

"OUGHH!" Marie exclaimed.

"Oh look, Marie, its a baseball," May picked it up and started throwing it up and down.

"What was your first clue, einstein," Marie lifted herself from the ground rubbing the back ofher head," come on, we're not done yet!"

Marie took the baseball and threw it back up in the air.

"Oh no, Plank, its coming again!" Jonny shouted. Once again, the baseball hit their aircraft. They both started falling, falling, falling. Down and down they fell, until-

"Hey Nazz, is that a pumpkin?" Kevin asked, pointed skyward.

Grass is Mother Nature's wall to walloom, buddy.