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Fanfiction, Rated G
Fanfiction, Rated PG
Fanfiction, Rated PG-13
Peach Creek Award

The Wizard Of Ed
Chapter 4
Written By Beansie

"So like where are you from?" Nazz asked her new straw-filled associate.

"Uh...I don't know," Ed blankly answered.

"Fascinating..." Rudolph murmured. Nazz ignored his remark and nodded.

"How much farther, Rudolph?" she asked.

"I don't know. Could take a few days, weeks..."

"Look, I need to get back soon. Don't you know any shortcut?" Nazz inquired.

"Look," Rudolph spun round," there ain't no way you're gettin' outta here without my help, 'k? Ask tall, dumb, and lumpy for directions if you want a shortcut."

"What's your problem, dude? I mean ever since we started for Ruby City you've been in this cruddy mood! Can you please tell me what is going on?"

"I would, but I can't, alright?" Rudolph snapped.

"What do you mean you can't?" Nazz put her hands on her hips.

"I can't tell you! Can we just drop it?" he growled. She sighed and glared down at him.

"Alright, we'll make a deal: if I stop asking you about yourbusiness, you'll simmer down. Deal?" Nazz knelt down to his level and extended her hand. Rudolph stared at it and, with a exaggerated "Fine...," met it with his paw.

"Good," Nazz smiled. "Onward then!"

"WHOOP!" Nazz turned back to see Ed fallen in a pothole in the road. She giggled and started back for him. "You ok?" she asked.

"Could you pass the macaroni salad, please?" he smiled up at her with that big, stupid grin and she couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Come on," she pulled him to his feet. She was rather surprised at how easily she accomplished this, but it was probably because he was so light weight, being stuffed with straw.

"Ya ready yet?" Rudolph asked impatiently.

"Remember our deal, Rudolph," Nazz returned. "And yes."

"Good. Hey, it's getting kinda dark out. You wanna make camp here?" Rudolph asked.

"You sure you wanna camp out here in the woods?"

"I saw a hut a little ways into the woods. It would probably be safe in there," Rudolph replied.

"Awesome! Show us where!" Nazz shouted. Rudolph led them down a beaten old path. Soon, they came to a small hut. It looked as if it had been deserted and was in need of some repairs. However, with a few renovations, it could be homy enough for one night.

Nazz opened the creaking door and walked inside. On one side there was a small bed made of hay and in the other was a small pile of firewood.

"Great!" Nazz said. "This'll work perfect!"

"You think we should start a fire?" Rudolph asked. "You know, scare off any wild animals and for some...light..."

"Sure," Nazz grinned. She grabbed a log off the pile and handed it to Ed, who carried it outside without a word. She grabbed another and followed him.

"Now what?" Ed asked her. Nazz shrugged.

"I guess make a fire, somehow..."

"Wait! You don't know how to make a fire?" Rudolph exclaimed.

"Not without matches..."

"Great, just-"

Just then, a low groan came from within the trees. They all spun around to see it, but as it was getting dark, weren't met with much.

"You can see in the dark, right Rudolph?" Nazz asked.

"A bit," he admitted.

"See anything?"

Rudolph squinted.

"No-WAIT! YEAH! There looked like a glimmer of metal somewhere. Somethin' like a suit of armor!"


Holding Ed's gloved hand they followed Rudolph toward what appeared to be a metal statue of a man. He stood around four feet and held an axe in hand.

"You think it's safe?" Nazz whispered barely above a hiss. Suddenly, the suit groaned at them again.

"Um...hello?" Nazz cautiously approached him. His eyes rested onto her face and began darting to their right. Nazz turned to see what he was pointing at and saw a small can of oil.

"Oh!" realization dawned upon her at last as she picked up the can and oiled his mouth.

He spat and began stretching his jaw.

"BLECH!" he panted and then addressed them. "Finally! Mind gettin' the rest there, pretty lady?"

"Um...sure," Nazz stared.

"So who's the lump" he asked, giving a bit of a glare to Rudolph. "And you...of course..."

"Nazz," she answered. "And this is Rudolph and Ed." She oiled his right arm, which quickly fell to his side.

"Wait, I'm not gonna have to pay you for this, am I?" he raised his eyebrow.

"No," she replied.

"Good! Where are you headin' to?"

"Ruby City. And when I get there, I'm going to ask the great wizard to send me back home."

"Where ya from then?"

"A small little town thousands of miles away. You wouldn't have heard of it," Nazz said, oiling the last place. He stretched his arms out in a yawn and began walking toward the hut.

"Well come on!" he called back at them. Nazz and Rudolph slowly followed, but Ed made sure he was standing right beside the man.

"Say! Do you have any peanut shells?" Ed asked.

"Shut up, Ed."

"WAIT A SECOND! What's your name?" Nazz exclaimed.

"Eddy," Eddy shook his head.

"Oh," Nazz blinked. Talk about deja vu...

"Well, we were wondering if you could help us build a fire," Nazz asked.

"Why not..." Eddy opened the door to the hut and came out again with a box of matches.

"Wait! That's your hut?"

"Yeah," Eddy knelt down to the pile of logs. "Say, ya wanna go find some grass of something to burn?"

"Alright," Nazz walked off and began pulling grass out of the ground. By the time she was done, she had and arm full of it.

"Great. Throw it on the logs," Eddy instructed. She did thus. Eddy lit three matches and threw them in the pile. In little time, they soon had a warm fire.

"Hey, where's Ed?" Rudolph noticed the absence of their comrad.

"I don't know. Ed!" Nazz called out. They heard a scream. Turning around, they saw a shivering Ed hiding behind a tree.

"Ed, what's wrong?" Nazz asked.

"Fire! Bad!" Ed hollered.

"No Ed. It's all right!" Nazz said. Ed yelled and ran away.

"Ed wait! Come back!" Nazz called! Too late. Ed ran into a tree and fell down again.

Nazz walked over him and looked down. He met her eyes.

"Come on. You wanna go in the hut?" Nazz yawned.

"Ok," Ed and Nazz left.

"So just you an' me now, huh?" Rudolph sneered. Eddy didn't reply; only gave him a more bold sneer in return.

You forgot to say dorks, Kevin!